By the Spoonful
by HecateA
Summary: In which Remus is absolutely baffled by the incredibly quantity of jam his wife is consuming and has no idea what to make of it. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Warnings: **NA

* * *

**Stacked with: **MC4A; Shipping War; Animal Verses; Ornate Oscillating Obelisks; Seriously Important (Not)

**Individual Challenge(s): **Gryffindor MC; Hufflepuff MC; Seeds; Ways to the Heart; Golden Times; Old Shoes; Themes and Things A (Change); Themes and Things B (Surprise); True Colours; Rian-Russo Inversion; In a Flash

**Representation(s): **Remus Lupin; life changes; food cravings

**Bonus challenge(s):** Creature Feature; Second Verse (Odd Feathers); Chorus (Persistence Still)

**Tertiary bonus challenge: **NA

**Word Count: **722

* * *

_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Nymphadora Tonks/Remus Lupin (Technicolour Moon)

**List (Prompt): **Summer Micro 2 (Fruits/berries)

* * *

**By the Spoonful **

When they walked into Andromeda Tonks' kitchen to say hello, the counters were overloaded with baskets of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, cherries, figs, chopped apples, diced rhubarb…

"It's jam day!" Dora said excitedly. She wrapped her arms around her mum from behind. "Mum you didn't tell me it was jam day! I'd have come to help you..."

"Now, now," Andromeda said. "I know you've been busy with work and so on."

"Is there jam for us to bring home?" Dora asked. Remus died a thousand deaths waiting for the answer to that question: Andromeda made the best jam in the world. Now that the smell of fresh fruit was filling his nostrils and that he saw the empty mason jars lined up on the counter like a little army… if she answered 'no,' the effect would be instantaneous heartbreak.

"Of course," Andromeda said.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief and Tonks yelped in victory, earning herself a swat from her mother. She laughed and turned her hair a shade of bright strawberry red in celebration.

* * *

Whenever the owner of Flourish and Blott's hired Remus to fix their accounts, they asked him to come in after hours—most likely so that they could deny ever engaging in the service of a werewolf. Remus didn't mind; they paid him well, and Dora had been working late as well.

When he uttered the correct password to counter their defensive charms and entered the flat, he saw her standing in the kitchen, eating jam out of the jar in the fridge's light.

She looked up to him, spoon hanging from her mouth.

"Well, hello," he said with a smile.

She waved, not removing the spoon from her mouth.

"Did you want to try some real food for tonight?"

She shook her head, and plucked out the spoon.

"I think I'm good, but you go ahead."

* * *

They were grocery shopping late after an Order meeting, wandering the aisles exhausted but determined to shop before the full moon and a seven-day work week.

"Wait," Dora said before plunging down an aisle Remus could have sworn they'd been down before.

She plucked a jar of grape jelly and another of apricot jam from the shelf.

"Don't we still have some of the jam that your mum made?" Remus asked.

She shook her head.

"She gave us, like, ten jars," Remus frowned.

"Okay," Dora said, before plucking another jar of raspberry jam from the shelf.

* * *

He watched Dora load up spoonful after spoonful of jam on her slice of toast.

"Do you want some bread with that jam?" she asked.

Dora stuck out her tongue and started scraping the bottom of the jar.

* * *

They were lazily taking their time to get up that morning, and constantly finding other things that drew them back to bed whenever one of them sat up or otherwise moved. Still; they'd finally made it to the kitchen now.

"Breakfast?" Remus offered, opening the fridge. "I'll cook. I can make those omelettes you like."

"I don't feel like eggs," Dora said, leaning against the counter, pursing her lips.

"Alright," he said. "Pancakes? French toast? Muffins, if you have the patience for it…"

She shook her head.

"Just toast is fine," she said, hauling herself up so that she was sitting on the counter.

Remus cocked his head to the side. "Do you really want toast?"

"I need toast to put jam on or else you judge me," Dora said.

* * *

Part of Remus was convinced that the fact that her diet was 30% sugar, 30% gelatin, 30% fruit, and 10% "miscellaneous" was responsible for Dora's stomach troubles, but he didn't say anything as he held her hair and got her a cool wet towel for her face. She took a deep breath and then lowered herself back down so that she was sitting on the bathroom floor, head resting against the wall.

"Remus," she said unsurely, scratching the back of her head. "I… I think I might be pregnant."

Remus' blood froze in his veins. This was not supposed to… They had explicitly talked about this not happening. About why it shouldn't happen. They had agreed to—that it would be bad if—that the possibilities…

His shock led to the least intelligent thing he had ever said to drop from his mouth.

"Is this what the jam's been about?"


End file.
